The past week had two very important days the international day of mental health awareness and the day of the girl child. These days prompted me to put out this post on body positivity, self love and self care for everyone but specially for the girl child.
Body positivity to me is simply loving the skin you are in. Body positivity is acceptance and appreciation of all body types. It is a movement of self love and Acceptance rebuffing body shaming.
Body shaming is putting someone down based on how their body looks, it is wicked, distasteful and a shameful act. God made us all equally so why are you trying to affect someone’s mental health by body shaming them? They didn’t create themselves.
It is easy to say to someone especially a girl “love yourself” but easier said than done. A woman’s body goes through alot and it is sometimes difficult to understand and accept these changes.
Most people would say I love myself but I hate my body. I wish I was slimmer, thicker, my legs longer, my nails finer, my brows thicker so many things. Then how can you love yourself when you hate your features?
Where all started from…
The typical girl of this of any generation grew up with lots of “standards” of beauty. These standards dictated how a “real” girl should look, and this has guided how she sees herself all through teenage years to adulthood.
For our generation, social media hasn’t made things easier for anyone, especially the girl that doesn’t feel great about her body. Across social media we see airbrushed picture of ladies that seem perfect to us and these make us feel less because we believe that illusion.
I for one is one of those people that grew up with certain unfair Standards of beauty. I was meant to believe that you have to be slim, skinny to be considered beautiful. Comments like your arms are getting bigger, you are eating all the food at home plagued me day and night and I can say looking at those years of my life I was unhappy trying to fit in.
That did a number to my self confidence especially when the people speaking about your body in such a negative manner Happen to be people you love and care about their opinions.
I know some of you will say they were trying to help and some of them were probably trying to help. However, I didn’t feel helped, I felt targeted and made to feel less as each comment cut really deep. I was trying to get myself slimmer working out etc but for all the wrong reasons. Because of this I couldn’t be consistent with the weight loss and this made me even more depressed especially because I would go out and be told something about my weight each day while I was kicking my butt trying to do everything I can to loose weight.
After a long time of feeling this way I became hard and I developed a very mean streak. I went through a phase of replying comment for comment if someone talks about my hands (I am very sensitive about) or imcreasimg waist line. I will look for the most embarrassing thing in their lives to comment on. You can only imagine what damage I would have caused and I didn’t care (they tried to put me down first). I did this and found some kind of satisfaction for a while but I decided to stop because it wasn’t making me feel better but gradually turning me into a monster which I didn’t like.
My turning point started when I disassociated beauty from perfection. When we see a tree it may not be perfect but it is definitely beautiful,we can say the same for the sky, even old buildings are beautiful in their own unique way. So if these things are good enough to be called beautiful so am I. I don’t have to be perfect or have the perfect body to know that I am definitely beautiful. I got this and found my peace.
My short story was told to let you know that body positivity is very important. There is a relationship between your feelings towards your body and your sense of being, your mental health and your love for yourself.
Self love starts with firstly accepting yourself for who you are and this starts by accepting your “flaws” and seeing them less as flaws and more as your unique signature. You aren’t like everyone else and that is a gift. OWN it love.
You are as beautiful as you think. It all starts from within.
Our bodies are our longest commitment we are with it until our grave. So be kind to yourself, care for your body if there is anything you don’t like about your body eg. your weight, accept it first, and work on it, meanwhile spread love, kindness and positivity everywhere you go. Especially to those sensitive about their bodies, let them know that they are beautiful and standards made by the society cannot and should never define how they feel about themselves.
Be yourself first, love you own skin first accept yourself first and don’t let anyone make you feel you should be a certain way to be deemed beautiful, because you are already beautiful mind, body and soul.
All images by @nkayphotos.
Sending you love and light. Love D.A